Monday, May 17, 2004
Dog Haiku
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.
...
Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds -- I celebrate
By kissing your face.
...
I sound the alarm!
Paper boy -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
...
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
...
How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
...
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
...
I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!
...
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
Maybe catching rats
...
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
...
The cat is not all
Bad --she fills the litter box
With tootsie rolls.
...
Dig under the fence--why?
Because it is there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
...
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
(I LOVE THE LAST ONE!)
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.
...
Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds -- I celebrate
By kissing your face.
...
I sound the alarm!
Paper boy -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
...
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
...
How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
...
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
...
I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!
...
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
Maybe catching rats
...
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
...
The cat is not all
Bad --she fills the litter box
With tootsie rolls.
...
Dig under the fence--why?
Because it is there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
...
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
(I LOVE THE LAST ONE!)
Monday, October 06, 2003
If dogs could write letters to God......
(Thanks to Jamie for these smiles...)
Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if
ever, smell
one another?
Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
is it the
same old story?
Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the
Cougar, the
Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but
not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a Cougar riding around? We
dogs love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler
Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,
hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent
ID's, electromagnetic
energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
"shake
hands" to get in?
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I
have to
apologize?
Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
must
remember to be a good dog:
1: I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
or after they throw it up.
2: I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3: I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty
litter box; although they are tasty, they are not
food.
4: The sofa is not a face towel.
5: The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6: My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
7: Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
acceptable way of saying hello.
8: I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
9: I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house.
10: I will not throw up in the car.
11: I will not sit in the middle of the living room
and
lick my crotch when company is over.
12: The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play
with him
and he makes that noise it's usually not a good
thing.
And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my
testicles back?
Sincerely,
Dog
OPENING DOORS AND DOGGIE DOORS
Watching a puppy plow his way through a doggiedoor for the first time is fascinating. How does he know there's not some great abyss on the other side? He's seen his mom Sunny and his uncle Seamus do it many times, but still! What faith. Which brings us to this story from Jill:
What a wonderful way of explaining!!!
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the
examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what
lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other
side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side
of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the
door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of
gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my
dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was
inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the
door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the
other side of death, but I do know one thing...I know my Master is there
and that is enough."
(Pass the Kleenex, please. This one really got me! Thanks, Jill)
HAS ANYBODY SEEN ANGUS KITTY?
Speaking of Kleenex, losing a pet can bring on the tears. Angus Kitty is a black cat lost in the Reese Circle/Cross Rd./Hwy. 101/Blackie Rd. area, just down the road from Dogwood Ranch.
This is some information Angus' owner would like to pass on:
Hi Becky-
County has a new system of posting on a website of any animals that they
find.
They update it every four hours.
Is that great?
http://www.co.monterey.ca.us/health/animalservices/
Click on services on site, and it will ask what you are looking for
Thought you might want to share it with everyone on the blog.
You can search for lost pets, adoptable pets, and all sorts of other useful
information.
I also called county works and caltrans.
You probably already have this, but
Cityworks - we are district 1
755-4800
And the north county maintenance crew phone direct
783-3012
The main line for caltrans is 738-3000.
Also, would you mind distributing the attached flyer to anyone you know in
our area that would not mind helping to be on the lookout for angus.
We have to will Angus home with a lot of foot work. I hope he is OK.
Thanks Becky
Jamie
(Thanks to Jamie for these smiles...)
Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if
ever, smell
one another?
Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
is it the
same old story?
Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the
Cougar, the
Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but
not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a Cougar riding around? We
dogs love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler
Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,
hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent
ID's, electromagnetic
energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
"shake
hands" to get in?
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I
have to
apologize?
Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
must
remember to be a good dog:
1: I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
or after they throw it up.
2: I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3: I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty
litter box; although they are tasty, they are not
food.
4: The sofa is not a face towel.
5: The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6: My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
7: Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
acceptable way of saying hello.
8: I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
9: I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house.
10: I will not throw up in the car.
11: I will not sit in the middle of the living room
and
lick my crotch when company is over.
12: The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play
with him
and he makes that noise it's usually not a good
thing.
And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my
testicles back?
Sincerely,
Dog
OPENING DOORS AND DOGGIE DOORS
Watching a puppy plow his way through a doggiedoor for the first time is fascinating. How does he know there's not some great abyss on the other side? He's seen his mom Sunny and his uncle Seamus do it many times, but still! What faith. Which brings us to this story from Jill:
What a wonderful way of explaining!!!
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the
examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what
lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other
side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side
of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the
door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of
gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my
dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was
inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the
door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the
other side of death, but I do know one thing...I know my Master is there
and that is enough."
(Pass the Kleenex, please. This one really got me! Thanks, Jill)
HAS ANYBODY SEEN ANGUS KITTY?
Speaking of Kleenex, losing a pet can bring on the tears. Angus Kitty is a black cat lost in the Reese Circle/Cross Rd./Hwy. 101/Blackie Rd. area, just down the road from Dogwood Ranch.
This is some information Angus' owner would like to pass on:
Hi Becky-
County has a new system of posting on a website of any animals that they
find.
They update it every four hours.
Is that great?
http://www.co.monterey.ca.us/health/animalservices/
Click on services on site, and it will ask what you are looking for
Thought you might want to share it with everyone on the blog.
You can search for lost pets, adoptable pets, and all sorts of other useful
information.
I also called county works and caltrans.
You probably already have this, but
Cityworks - we are district 1
755-4800
And the north county maintenance crew phone direct
783-3012
The main line for caltrans is 738-3000.
Also, would you mind distributing the attached flyer to anyone you know in
our area that would not mind helping to be on the lookout for angus.
We have to will Angus home with a lot of foot work. I hope he is OK.
Thanks Becky
Jamie
Monday, September 29, 2003
PUPPIES ARE A JOY
The puppies are a month old now. Just overnight, they turned into miniature dogs. They no longer are these little balls of fur that roll in all directions when their mommy gets up after feeding them. They are walking and running and have these tiny white teeth appearing along the gumline.
It was only a week ago that they all opened their eyes! How long will I be able to still hold one in the palm of my hand and tickle their belly with the fingers of my other hand? Tiny things: precious and alive and joy-giving.
Their mom has been the best mom in the world! And brother Seamus?.... he has become the best nanny!
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
(Thanks to Pie-wackit's mom for sending me this, which is a new version of this email, especially the ending!)
l) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right
forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply
pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow
cat to close mouth and
swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold
mouth shut for a count
of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear
paws. Ignore low
growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while
forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and
repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth
and set to one side for
gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on at with head just
visible from below armpit. Put
pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down
drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to
take taste away. Apply
Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water
and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck - leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessertspoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic
band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress
to cheek and check
records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to
disinfect. Toss back
another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the @#&*&$ cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor
who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from
foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little @#*&*$'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and
bind tightly to leg of
dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into
mouth followed by large
piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2
pints of water down throat
to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive to the emergency room,
sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right
eye. Call furniture shop
on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet
shop to see if they have
any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL
1) Wrap it in bacon.
The puppies are a month old now. Just overnight, they turned into miniature dogs. They no longer are these little balls of fur that roll in all directions when their mommy gets up after feeding them. They are walking and running and have these tiny white teeth appearing along the gumline.
It was only a week ago that they all opened their eyes! How long will I be able to still hold one in the palm of my hand and tickle their belly with the fingers of my other hand? Tiny things: precious and alive and joy-giving.
Their mom has been the best mom in the world! And brother Seamus?.... he has become the best nanny!
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
(Thanks to Pie-wackit's mom for sending me this, which is a new version of this email, especially the ending!)
l) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right
forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply
pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow
cat to close mouth and
swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold
mouth shut for a count
of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear
paws. Ignore low
growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while
forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and
repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth
and set to one side for
gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on at with head just
visible from below armpit. Put
pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down
drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to
take taste away. Apply
Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water
and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck - leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessertspoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic
band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress
to cheek and check
records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to
disinfect. Toss back
another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the @#&*&$ cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor
who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from
foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little @#*&*$'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and
bind tightly to leg of
dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into
mouth followed by large
piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2
pints of water down throat
to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive to the emergency room,
sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right
eye. Call furniture shop
on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet
shop to see if they have
any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL
1) Wrap it in bacon.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Kids and Spots
(Thanks to Jill for sending me this)
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting
in the front seat
of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children
started discussing the
dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said one youngster.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
use the dogs,"
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
Seamus and the Panic Button
I loaned Famous Seamus out to a friend of mine who is adopting one of my newborn puppies. The plan was for Seamus to puppy-proof the backyard and to test the newly-installed doggydoor at this friend's house...
My friend's mother has one of those Medical Alert/Send Help devices which she wears around her neck. Seamus is such a lapsitter; he was sitting on her lap when he set the MediAlert button off! I prefer to think he did this by accident, but you never know!
(Thanks to Jill for sending me this)
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting
in the front seat
of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children
started discussing the
dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said one youngster.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
use the dogs,"
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
Seamus and the Panic Button
I loaned Famous Seamus out to a friend of mine who is adopting one of my newborn puppies. The plan was for Seamus to puppy-proof the backyard and to test the newly-installed doggydoor at this friend's house...
My friend's mother has one of those Medical Alert/Send Help devices which she wears around her neck. Seamus is such a lapsitter; he was sitting on her lap when he set the MediAlert button off! I prefer to think he did this by accident, but you never know!
Friday, September 12, 2003
Oprah!
I can't believe I just turned down a dog involved in the taping of the Oprah TV Show Saturday at the Steinbeck House! The doggie did not have an up-to-date bordetella (nasal drops for kennel cough). Look what I just did in order to protect my current clientele! In my heart, I know it was the right thing to do, but I love Show Biz!!!!
Oprah, from one doglover to another, you rock!
I can't believe I just turned down a dog involved in the taping of the Oprah TV Show Saturday at the Steinbeck House! The doggie did not have an up-to-date bordetella (nasal drops for kennel cough). Look what I just did in order to protect my current clientele! In my heart, I know it was the right thing to do, but I love Show Biz!!!!
Oprah, from one doglover to another, you rock!
Baptist Dog
(Thanks to my sis Anna for sending me this)
A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever
mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a
Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their
needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he
had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet
the pastor and his wife.
"Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the
bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought
it to the owner.
"Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to
the floor,and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed
through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his
paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased
the dog.
That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The
pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate
several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man
asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"
"I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger
at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately
jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and
began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said,
"Good Lord! He's Pentecostal !"
(Thanks to my sis Anna for sending me this)
A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever
mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a
Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their
needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he
had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet
the pastor and his wife.
"Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the
bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought
it to the owner.
"Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to
the floor,and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed
through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his
paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased
the dog.
That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The
pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate
several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man
asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"
"I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger
at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately
jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and
began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said,
"Good Lord! He's Pentecostal !"
Thursday, September 11, 2003
George and Roxie, the Miracle Beagles
The fence around he Dog Park was barely up a day when George and Roxie came into my life. Two beagles on a mission to explore every nook and cranny of the ranch; gopher-getter Roxie and noble-nose George.
George and Roxie's mom was a school teacher. She would come to the dog park several times a week, find a chair, put her feet up and read a book. A hour later, her nose would still be in that book while her beagles would still be on the hunt.
If Mom left the beagles here while she ran errands, the two would climb to the top of the agility course A-frame and lay booty to booty, watching and waiting for Mom to return.
George and Roxie are miracle dogs because they survived an adventure few dog moms ever want to experience. It seems Mom was at the Marina State Beach (back in the days you could actually take your dogs to the beach in Monterey County), and the two beagles were playing in the sand as they had done there many times before. Mom had her nose stuck in a book and when she finally looked up, George and Roxie were gone.
Mom called and called. No beagles. She waded over the sand dune and to her dismay discovered a hole in the fence. Of course George and Roxie found that hole...they weren't stupid! Nothing lay between the beagles and busy Hwy. 1. The thought of her two beagles being run over on the freeway was almost too much for Mom to comprehend. She called and called.
Mom's search lasted for hours. She walked the dunes, drove up and down the freeway, but the beagles were gone.
Heartbroken and sick, Mom went home.
Mom's answering machine held a message which revealed the miracle. "Hi, this is PetSmart in Sand City. We have George and Roxie here."
A Good Samaritan had stopped when he saw George and Roxie running along the shoulder of the freeway. Cars were beeping at them, but this good soul KNEW beagles and knew that if they were in this predicament, it meant they were on a hunt and had gotten lost from their owner. He opened his car door and George and Roxie jumped in; yes, just like that... they weren't stupid! PetSmart was just around the corner and the store had graciously offered to keep them and call the number on their I.D. nametag.
This is just one of many George and Roxie adventures. These beagles get around. In fact, though they have come here for years, they never stayed overnight. You see, if Mom went on a trip, the dogs went with her or she didn't go!
As I said before, Mom was a school teacher. This year she quit. Yes, after 14 years of teaching grades K through 5, she quit. There were many reasons, but it may have been the 37-students-in-one-class-ratio that finally broke the thread. Can you imagine? If I get more than 10 dogs at the ranch to take care of by myself, I sometimes freak out. Can you imagine me trying to care for 37 dogs by myself? Or a dog trainer? Imagine one dog trainer and 37 dogs in her class? And I don't have to teach these dogs how to read and write!
When George and Roxie and their mom visited the dogpark for the last time this week, I cried. That's the downside to this business: people and doggies move away. To George and Roxie, it's another adventure! Have fun guys!
The fence around he Dog Park was barely up a day when George and Roxie came into my life. Two beagles on a mission to explore every nook and cranny of the ranch; gopher-getter Roxie and noble-nose George.
George and Roxie's mom was a school teacher. She would come to the dog park several times a week, find a chair, put her feet up and read a book. A hour later, her nose would still be in that book while her beagles would still be on the hunt.
If Mom left the beagles here while she ran errands, the two would climb to the top of the agility course A-frame and lay booty to booty, watching and waiting for Mom to return.
George and Roxie are miracle dogs because they survived an adventure few dog moms ever want to experience. It seems Mom was at the Marina State Beach (back in the days you could actually take your dogs to the beach in Monterey County), and the two beagles were playing in the sand as they had done there many times before. Mom had her nose stuck in a book and when she finally looked up, George and Roxie were gone.
Mom called and called. No beagles. She waded over the sand dune and to her dismay discovered a hole in the fence. Of course George and Roxie found that hole...they weren't stupid! Nothing lay between the beagles and busy Hwy. 1. The thought of her two beagles being run over on the freeway was almost too much for Mom to comprehend. She called and called.
Mom's search lasted for hours. She walked the dunes, drove up and down the freeway, but the beagles were gone.
Heartbroken and sick, Mom went home.
Mom's answering machine held a message which revealed the miracle. "Hi, this is PetSmart in Sand City. We have George and Roxie here."
A Good Samaritan had stopped when he saw George and Roxie running along the shoulder of the freeway. Cars were beeping at them, but this good soul KNEW beagles and knew that if they were in this predicament, it meant they were on a hunt and had gotten lost from their owner. He opened his car door and George and Roxie jumped in; yes, just like that... they weren't stupid! PetSmart was just around the corner and the store had graciously offered to keep them and call the number on their I.D. nametag.
This is just one of many George and Roxie adventures. These beagles get around. In fact, though they have come here for years, they never stayed overnight. You see, if Mom went on a trip, the dogs went with her or she didn't go!
As I said before, Mom was a school teacher. This year she quit. Yes, after 14 years of teaching grades K through 5, she quit. There were many reasons, but it may have been the 37-students-in-one-class-ratio that finally broke the thread. Can you imagine? If I get more than 10 dogs at the ranch to take care of by myself, I sometimes freak out. Can you imagine me trying to care for 37 dogs by myself? Or a dog trainer? Imagine one dog trainer and 37 dogs in her class? And I don't have to teach these dogs how to read and write!
When George and Roxie and their mom visited the dogpark for the last time this week, I cried. That's the downside to this business: people and doggies move away. To George and Roxie, it's another adventure! Have fun guys!
Saturday, September 06, 2003
Nothing Larger Than a King-Size Bed...
(Thank you goes to Pam for sending me this.)
Dear Dog and Cat,
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else,
not switch positions with each other so there are still
two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.
I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used
is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years.
Canine/Feline attendance has never been necessary.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs' butt.
I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
In return for your following these simple rules,
I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owner Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
_________________________________
Now read this signature closely and understand what it means,
YOUR OWNER
(Thank you goes to Pam for sending me this.)
Dear Dog and Cat,
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else,
not switch positions with each other so there are still
two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.
I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used
is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years.
Canine/Feline attendance has never been necessary.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs' butt.
I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
In return for your following these simple rules,
I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owner Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
_________________________________
Now read this signature closely and understand what it means,
YOUR OWNER
