Dogwood Ranch's "All Good Dogs"

2004-05-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Dog Haiku

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.

...

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds -- I celebrate
By kissing your face.

...

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

...

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

...

How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

...

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

...

I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

...

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
Maybe catching rats

...

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

...

The cat is not all
Bad --she fills the litter box
With tootsie rolls.

...

Dig under the fence--why?
Because it is there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

...

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

(I LOVE THE LAST ONE!)

2003-10-06T23:46:00.000-07:00

If dogs could write letters to God......
(Thanks to Jamie for these smiles...)

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if
ever, smell
one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
is it the
same old story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the
Cougar, the
Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but
not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a Cougar riding around? We
dogs love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler
Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,
hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent
ID's, electromagnetic
energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
"shake
hands" to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I
have to
apologize?

Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
must
remember to be a good dog:

1: I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
or after they throw it up.

2: I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3: I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty
litter box; although they are tasty, they are not
food.

4: The sofa is not a face towel.

5: The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6: My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

7: Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
acceptable way of saying hello.

8: I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.

9: I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house.

10: I will not throw up in the car.

11: I will not sit in the middle of the living room
and
lick my crotch when company is over.

12: The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play
with him
and he makes that noise it's usually not a good
thing.

And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my
testicles back?

Sincerely,

Dog

OPENING DOORS AND DOGGIE DOORS

Watching a puppy plow his way through a doggiedoor for the first time is fascinating. How does he know there's not some great abyss on the other side? He's seen his mom Sunny and his uncle Seamus do it many times, but still! What faith. Which brings us to this story from Jill:
What a wonderful way of explaining!!!

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the
examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what
lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other
side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side
of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the
door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of
gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my
dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was
inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the
door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the
other side of death, but I do know one thing...I know my Master is there
and that is enough."

(Pass the Kleenex, please. This one really got me! Thanks, Jill)

HAS ANYBODY SEEN ANGUS KITTY?

Speaking of Kleenex, losing a pet can bring on the tears. Angus Kitty is a black cat lost in the Reese Circle/Cross Rd./Hwy. 101/Blackie Rd. area, just down the road from Dogwood Ranch.

This is some information Angus' owner would like to pass on:

Hi Becky-
County has a new system of posting on a website of any animals that they
find.
They update it every four hours.
Is that great?
http://www.co.monterey.ca.us/health/animalservices/
Click on services on site, and it will ask what you are looking for

Thought you might want to share it with everyone on the blog.
You can search for lost pets, adoptable pets, and all sorts of other useful
information.

I also called county works and caltrans.
You probably already have this, but
Cityworks - we are district 1
755-4800
And the north county maintenance crew phone direct
783-3012
The main line for caltrans is 738-3000.

Also, would you mind distributing the attached flyer to anyone you know in
our area that would not mind helping to be on the lookout for angus.
We have to will Angus home with a lot of foot work. I hope he is OK.

Thanks Becky
Jamie

2003-09-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

PUPPIES ARE A JOY

The puppies are a month old now. Just overnight, they turned into miniature dogs. They no longer are these little balls of fur that roll in all directions when their mommy gets up after feeding them. They are walking and running and have these tiny white teeth appearing along the gumline.

It was only a week ago that they all opened their eyes! How long will I be able to still hold one in the palm of my hand and tickle their belly with the fingers of my other hand? Tiny things: precious and alive and joy-giving.

Their mom has been the best mom in the world! And brother Seamus?.... he has become the best nanny!

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
(Thanks to Pie-wackit's mom for sending me this, which is a new version of this email, especially the ending!)

l) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right
forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply
pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow
cat to close mouth and
swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold
mouth shut for a count
of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear
paws. Ignore low
growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while
forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and
repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth
and set to one side for
gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on at with head just
visible from below armpit. Put
pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down
drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to
take taste away. Apply
Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water
and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck - leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessertspoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic
band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress
to cheek and check
records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to
disinfect. Toss back
another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the @#&*&$ cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor
who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from
foil-wrap.

13) Tie the little @#*&*$'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and
bind tightly to leg of
dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into
mouth followed by large
piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2
pints of water down throat
to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive to the emergency room,
sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right
eye. Call furniture shop
on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet
shop to see if they have
any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

1) Wrap it in bacon.

2003-09-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

Kids and Spots
(Thanks to Jill for sending me this)

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting
in the front seat
of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children
started discussing the
dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said one youngster.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
use the dogs,"
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Seamus and the Panic Button

I loaned Famous Seamus out to a friend of mine who is adopting one of my newborn puppies. The plan was for Seamus to puppy-proof the backyard and to test the newly-installed doggydoor at this friend's house...

My friend's mother has one of those Medical Alert/Send Help devices which she wears around her neck. Seamus is such a lapsitter; he was sitting on her lap when he set the MediAlert button off! I prefer to think he did this by accident, but you never know!

2003-09-12T15:12:00.000-07:00

Oprah!
I can't believe I just turned down a dog involved in the taping of the Oprah TV Show Saturday at the Steinbeck House! The doggie did not have an up-to-date bordetella (nasal drops for kennel cough). Look what I just did in order to protect my current clientele! In my heart, I know it was the right thing to do, but I love Show Biz!!!!

Oprah, from one doglover to another, you rock!

2003-09-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

Baptist Dog
(Thanks to my sis Anna for sending me this)

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever
mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a
Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their
needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he
had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet
the pastor and his wife.

"Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the
bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought
it to the owner.

"Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to
the floor,and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed
through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his
paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased
the dog.

That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The
pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate
several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man
asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"

"I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger
at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately
jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and
began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said,
"Good Lord! He's Pentecostal !"

2003-09-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

George and Roxie, the Miracle Beagles
The fence around he Dog Park was barely up a day when George and Roxie came into my life. Two beagles on a mission to explore every nook and cranny of the ranch; gopher-getter Roxie and noble-nose George.

George and Roxie's mom was a school teacher. She would come to the dog park several times a week, find a chair, put her feet up and read a book. A hour later, her nose would still be in that book while her beagles would still be on the hunt.

If Mom left the beagles here while she ran errands, the two would climb to the top of the agility course A-frame and lay booty to booty, watching and waiting for Mom to return.

George and Roxie are miracle dogs because they survived an adventure few dog moms ever want to experience. It seems Mom was at the Marina State Beach (back in the days you could actually take your dogs to the beach in Monterey County), and the two beagles were playing in the sand as they had done there many times before. Mom had her nose stuck in a book and when she finally looked up, George and Roxie were gone.

Mom called and called. No beagles. She waded over the sand dune and to her dismay discovered a hole in the fence. Of course George and Roxie found that hole...they weren't stupid! Nothing lay between the beagles and busy Hwy. 1. The thought of her two beagles being run over on the freeway was almost too much for Mom to comprehend. She called and called.

Mom's search lasted for hours. She walked the dunes, drove up and down the freeway, but the beagles were gone.

Heartbroken and sick, Mom went home.

Mom's answering machine held a message which revealed the miracle. "Hi, this is PetSmart in Sand City. We have George and Roxie here."

A Good Samaritan had stopped when he saw George and Roxie running along the shoulder of the freeway. Cars were beeping at them, but this good soul KNEW beagles and knew that if they were in this predicament, it meant they were on a hunt and had gotten lost from their owner. He opened his car door and George and Roxie jumped in; yes, just like that... they weren't stupid! PetSmart was just around the corner and the store had graciously offered to keep them and call the number on their I.D. nametag.

This is just one of many George and Roxie adventures. These beagles get around. In fact, though they have come here for years, they never stayed overnight. You see, if Mom went on a trip, the dogs went with her or she didn't go!

As I said before, Mom was a school teacher. This year she quit. Yes, after 14 years of teaching grades K through 5, she quit. There were many reasons, but it may have been the 37-students-in-one-class-ratio that finally broke the thread. Can you imagine? If I get more than 10 dogs at the ranch to take care of by myself, I sometimes freak out. Can you imagine me trying to care for 37 dogs by myself? Or a dog trainer? Imagine one dog trainer and 37 dogs in her class? And I don't have to teach these dogs how to read and write!

When George and Roxie and their mom visited the dogpark for the last time this week, I cried. That's the downside to this business: people and doggies move away. To George and Roxie, it's another adventure! Have fun guys!

2003-09-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

Nothing Larger Than a King-Size Bed...
(Thank you goes to Pam for sending me this.)

Dear Dog and Cat,

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else,
not switch positions with each other so there are still
two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.
I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used
is nothing but sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years.
Canine/Feline attendance has never been necessary.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs' butt.

I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

In return for your following these simple rules,
I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owner Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

_________________________________

Now read this signature closely and understand what it means,

YOUR OWNER

2003-08-27T02:44:00.000-07:00

From Rockstars to Landscapers
I have a redwood tree growing in the Back-40 which is about five feet tall. The other day I noticed the tree was shaking violently back and forth. My first guess was EARTHQUAKE, but it was just Ranger and Scout, the big yellow labs. No longer content to be rockstars, they have become landscapers. A quick, "Cut that out, we don't allow that around here!" and the two stopped trying to pull the tree out of the ground and hightailed it around the buildings. I have lost many a tree to four-pawed landscapers.

Thunder Storms...Yawn, and Thunderbolt
Lightening and thunder are extremely rare here but last night was quite a show. About midnight, I ventured down to the bunkhouse to check on the guests, wondering if I'd find anyone cowering under their bunkbed or foaming at the mouth. Everyone was calm as could be, even when I let them out for a latenight whiz. The beagles especially just wanted to go back to bed. I left the radio on all night to distract them from the thunder, I don't know why some dogs fear thunder, and others don't. Maybe they pick up our fears? Who knows. I do always try to be my calmist around the dogs during a thunderstorm.

"THUNDERBOLT" is my neighbor (lives right next door) and has been coming here since she was a pup. Long, tall and lean, Thunderbolt is a black lab/saluki/greyhound? mix. As a puppy she would love to come play, but when she wanted to go home, she'd just jump the fence back into her yard. And this is a TALL fence! This is why you see that low-voltage wire atop the dogpark fence at that end: I had to fight energy with energy!

2003-08-23T02:24:00.000-07:00

2003-08-23T02:16:00.000-07:00

Famous Seamus, the bearded wonderdog
Most of you who have visited Dogwood Ranch know that Seamus, the miniature schnauzer with the long white beard and eyebrows, loves to sit on the office window shelf and greet you. You also know he's an in-your-face-puppy who loves to give kisses once he's sniffed your face all over.
A guy thing?
Let me explain.

Autumn, an Irish Setter, and Ashley, the Dalmation, have a master who is tall and also has a beard. When he was picking up these ladies (they are so calm and obedient I have always referred to them as "the ladies") and came to the window to pay his bill, Seamus stood on his hind legs to reach his face and the man let the dog put his paws on his shoulders.

I watched in awe as these two went beard to beard. Here were these two GUYS doing this male bonding thing by inspecting each others whiskered faces close up and personal. I could not stop laughing.

"Find any leftovers in there, Seamus?", he asked.

2003-08-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

"Jasper and The Uncooked Yeast Rolls"

("Thank you" goes to Jamie for sending me this story!)

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer
of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you who are unfamiliar
with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child whom you know
nothing about and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.

Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only sleep on the bed, on
top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually
performing a French kiss on me. Lest you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline, I
should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit
including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights...The new door cost over $200.

But I digress.....

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project
is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking
Thanksgiving for family, extended family and
a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time. I was however
assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two
Thanksgiving feasts we did attend.

I am still cursing the electrician for getting the
new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole house that
worked, thus the assignment. I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wednesday
evening to reheat on Thursday morning. Since the kitchen was freshly painted you
can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams
latex paint #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to
rise for 5 hours.

After 3 hours, Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in
about an hour. An hour later the rolls were ready to go in the oven.

It was 8:30pm...

When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock one
whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare
became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of
the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he
walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet.
After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would
probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the
rest of the night. God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any
more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice to say that by the time we
went to bed the dog was black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift
him onto the bed for the night.

Naively thinking the dog would be all better by morning
was very stupid on my part...We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first
thing, put the dogs out to relieve themselves.

Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running
into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking his
front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the floor or
headed 90 degrees in another direction. He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he
would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back
yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up rnning into the fence. His
pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon.

I endured another few seconds of
laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the
yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk. He assured me that,
not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5
hours and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.

Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up
and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day.
My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly
secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the
console of the car between Perry and I, we took off.

Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when
I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP.
These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a
drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it. Now he was
beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead if I am not telling
the truth!

We endured this for the entire trip to Karee's, thankful she didn't live
any further away than she did. Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage
with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the
day.

The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to
the garage to witness my "drunk dog", each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest
endeavor to walk without running into something.

Of course, as the old adage goes, "what goes in must come out" and Jasper
was no exception. Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked
yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a
dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a
mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karee's house. Having discovered his "packages"
on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the
floor.

This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit
the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose. It
was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure. We finally tried to remove it with a
shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on
my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if
this wasn't degrading enough, the dog in his drunken state had walked through the
poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal
both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the
worse for wear I presume.

I am also happy to report that just this evening I found
TWO risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door. It appears he must have come to
his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding two of them for later would not
be a bad idea.

2003-08-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Bit'O Blarney for sending these "Cute Dog Mixes"

Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated
Retriever Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Oh, never mind....

2003-08-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

Woofer and Tweeter
It was such a glorious morning today. I sat outside the back of the bunkhouse watching the doggies do their morning romps through the Back-40. Woofer, a black lab/aussie/golden?mix, came back to me and rested his chin on my knee. I read his eyes and they said, "I am so happy to be here!" I ran my hands down the sides of his face and felt the texture of his coat: recently shaved, the coat felt like a rich, thick Persian rug. "Ahh, Woofer, you've been coming here a long time. Remember when we didn't even have a bunkhouse?" The bunkhouse was built in the late Fall of 1998. Tweeter (Woofer's littermate and twin except for some tan spots above her eyes) rushed up to get her share of attention. "Ahh, Tweeter, remember in your younger days when you and Woofer used to dig the equivalent of the Panama Canal from one end of the dogpark to the other?" Tails wagged; they remembered!

Woofer's tags on his collar caught my eye and, though it looked very official, one of the metal tags read: I KNOW WHERE I LIVE; TELL ME TO GO HOME.

I then looked at Tweeter's tags, expecting to read the same message but Tweeter's tag read: I KNOW WHERE I LIVE: YELL GO HOME, NO FOOD.

Ahh, Woofer/Tweeter, your Mom has a sense of humor!

Upon hearing this story, my friend Pat told me about a cat that used to roam her neighborhood when she was a kid. The grey tabby had a collar and a single tag which read simply: DO NOT FEED ME. Thus, she and all her neighbors forever referred to this cat as "Do Not Feed Me" i.e. "Here comes Do Not Feed Me". They never knew the cat's real name. (Could it have been Silas, which is the name of the cat that comes with Woofer and Tweeter?)

2003-08-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

Psycho! Here Psycho! Good Dog, Psycho!
Hi Becky,
Great to hear from you, too!
Here's how Psycho got his name.

When my son, Marcus, and I picked out a new Rottweiler cross puppy from the SPCA we talked about what to name him.
"Psycho", Marcus said.
"But he's such a sweet pup", I answered. "Why would you want to call him Psycho?"
"Well, Mom. Some day you'll be walking down the street and you won't like the look of some people coming towards you. When you say Heel, Psycho. They'll get out of your way!"
So, Psycho it was.
Funny thing, one evening I was walking by the local shopping center and a group of young men headed towards me that I didn't like the look of. "Heel, Psycho", I said. Sure enough, they got off the sidewalk and walked around!!

Have a great day,
Ida

2003-08-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

Ranger and Scout, the RockStars
Big yellow labs (I mean big!) Ranger is still just a puppy. Scout is several years older...and STILL just a puppy. They are as enthusiastic a pair as it gets. Last time they were here I teased their Mom that the first night they "partied all night in their room. The maid said it looked like a rockband had just checked out after a wild party." I didn't mention that when I opened their doggydoor, each grabbed their blankets and ran out into the dogpark with them (hey, that's like making off with the hotel towels!) but it really made me laugh out loud. Labs: gotta love 'em. So, this time, I asked if they could be brought in earlier in the day so they could work off some of that enthusiasm before bedtime. What a great Mom; she junggled her work schedule just for them and when she arrived she actually announced them, "The rockstars are here!"

2003-08-08T02:22:00.000-07:00

Abby's Kiss
Never present your face to a dog! They will find it on their own. Abby, the Aussie, moving as quickly as a Stealth bomber, somehow landed a big, wet kiss right on my mouth with enough lick-power to nearly take the enamel off my teeth. Got to watch those Aussies; they are so good at planting kisses when you least expect it. My very first dog kiss? NOT. I used to love it when Snoopy kissed Lucy in the Peanuts Gang comicstrip (what would my clients think if I ran away yelling, "Ewww, dog germs! Dog germs!" like Lucy?)

Henry and Katie Girl
My neighborboy rode his bike up to the office window and asked, "Is Henry still here?" Yes, I replied and his face lit up. The boy and his little sister had been playing with Henry through the back fence the previous day and had established an instant rapport. "I bet if you go back to the fence in your backyard and call his name, he'll come." And for good messure, I imitated the "Henry! Henry Aldrich!" yell from the old black and white movie series. The boy looked at me like I was rabid, whereas the day before, three grown women all stood at the dogpark gate yelling "Henry!" ala the Aldrich-method and were all three having as much fun as Tarzan trying to start a stampede of elephants. "Okay, thank you", and he rode off. I later heard the "Henry!" yell.

Henry is an exceptionally friendly beagle, with other animals and people. Taller, longer and lankier than most beagles, he is an expert escape-artist, able to squeeze through tight spots such as a crack in the doorway the width of a security chain or even under a cage panel via the draingutters. He's good! All the dogs love him and he loves them. Plays all day and sometimes curls up on his blanket at night, too tired to even touch his dinner. I love to take both his floppy beagle ears in my hands and message them with my fingertips just to feel the velvety softness of them; I can feel my bloodpressure lower and the whole world is at peace. Beagle ears are in the Top Ten of my list of Favorite Places To Pet. A greyhound's chest is No. 1.

And then there's Katie Girl! She's a German short-haired pointer with a lovely liver and white coat. She's always on a mission when she's here: have fun and eat! She is Henry's older "sister" and is a perfect match for the little beagle's high energy level. Katie is pure muscle and this is no surprise since she can be seen often jogging around the neighborhood with her Mom. Both Henry and Katie Girl (along with Angus, the cat) have been immortalized in a mural on the side of their house. I've been told BOTH dogs sleep on the bed at home. Lucky dogs; lucky Mom. Lucky me to know them all.

2003-08-07T01:52:00.000-07:00

Abby, the Aussie
I met the nicest Aussie today: Abby. She is just over one year old and has that white speckled coat of many colors; one ear is up, one is down. The group in the dogpark accepted her immediately, meaning she went inside and nobody paid any attention to her after about half a minute. Her folks are nice, too, and obviously crazy about this dog. Welcome to Dogwood Ranch, Abby, you've hit the jackpot now!

Chobeo and Juliette
These two cocker spaniels are my neighbors and I love them dearly. Juliette is tiny, less than a foot tall, with a chocolate coat and buff eyebrows, lips and leg furnishings. But she also has these piercing greenish/goldish eyes that just melt my heart when she looks at me. Chobeo is many years her senior, still attached, and a solid buff color. They have unsuccessfully tried to "do it", much to their mom's disappointment. What gorgeous pups they would have! Keep trying, Chobeo!

These are busy dogs, constantly on the move, constantly wiggling their tails and butts at the speed of light. Chobeo will play ball with you until you get tired and then go play ball with himself. When his dad picked him up today, Chobeo would not leave the parkinglot, determined not to leave this red ball behind, unguarded, where just any old dog could pounce on it. Dad called and called, finally scooping both cockers up, one under each arm and heading down the road, tails and butts still in a frenzy. It can be so embarrassing when dogs actually are having such a good time here, they don't want to go home!

Sonny, Oscar and Libby
Beagles! I love beagles! These are small, retired showdogs. Oscar is Libby's son. Sonny is a senior K-9. They are so quiet! Shh! I mean really quiet! I know there are people who won't believe this about beagles, but most of the beagles that come to Dogwood Ranch are quiet (except Moe, who sounds like a hungry Monterey Bay sealion; but I like that!). Their mom cried when she left and almost had me crying, too; she loves these guys so much. Sonny gets a pill in a marshmallow. Yep, I am suppose to take two marshmallows, cut them in half and see that Sonny gets his pill and Oscar and Libby get a half, too. "I eat the other half," said their mom. Yum; been ages since I tasted a marshmallow.

Who would have thought about using a marshmallow to conceal a pill in? I've used wet dogfood, butter, peanutbutter, bread, cream cheese, and somebody even brought some brie cheese once which works best because it is so sticky no dog could eat around the pill or spit it out if he tried. And, of course, there's the sneak up from behind and shove it down their throat method. Honestly, I am so good at giving pills, I shouldn't even charge people...but I do! But maybe not these marshmallow beagles, since I get a half.